Expectations

Time and again, I’ve always said that you’d know a person is not right for you when there is a need to chase them. I believe that those who were meant to stay in your life will never leave; if they do, they would always always find their way back regardless how far they wander.

At some point, we meet someone who seemed to fill the void in our lives; he is that one person who picked you up at your lowest, the one who constantly made you smile, and the one who made you feel like you really matter. Spending time with him was always the highlight of your week, and somehow, this flicker of hope lights up inside you — that he might be the person you were waiting for. Problem is, he doesn’t feel the same.

One-sided expectations are tough to battle, especially when the other person gives you reasons to be attached. Most people would say they were just being nice and friendly, but we all know that a lot of them tend to cross that line, all the while saying that it’s just them being casual. I don’t believe in such bullshit.

You would know when you’re just being friendly, more so when you’re just trying to be cozy to someone. Do you treat your friends the same way you’re treating this other person? If you were being honest to yourself and said no, then do that person a favor and clear things up, just so you could be on the same page. Never give another person a reason to believe that there is a chance between the two of you when you know yourself that there’s none.

Ghosting also seems to be a trend nowadays. “Ghosting” is a term referring to the act of ceasing all communication with someone, just so that person could get a hint that the “ghoster” does not want anything to do with the “ghostee”anymore. It’s wrong, rude, and cowardly. At least tell the person that you’re not interested in taking things further with them. It’s common courtesy, you know.

However, if you genuinely care for that person, man up and openly state your intentions. Not everyone is good in decoding mixed signals. It will also save you both a lot of time on guessing if you feel the same way about each other. Guessing games are only for kids; and we all know we’re way past the age bracket where we could be considered as such.

In any case, never be the person who chases, and never be the person who gives false hopes.

To the person who always finds herself always chasing people — stop. You do not deserve it. You do not deserve him. He does not deserve you. Learn to appreciate the people who stayed. Know that you never have to try hard to get a person to remain in your life if he appreciates you.

To the person who gives false hopes — stop. You don’t know how crushing it could be for a person to find out that you were not all you seem to be. You have no idea how painful it is to have your hopes come tumbling down. Know that you are destroying people in the process.

Expectations can make or break a person. At this day and age where a hook-up culture is tolerated, be at least decent enough to be honest about your feelings, and be wise enough to know when you’re being taken advantage of. Life is too short to waste time on hurting people and getting hurt. Be fair — to yourself and to others.

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One thought on “Expectations

  1. Another great article. Ghosting has its own and pros and cons. It can also be a strategy for both men and women who are trying to play a little scarcity. So, they won’t come across as needy or desperate. Ghosting can be a deal breaker. ’cause it sends a signal to the other party that you are no longer interested.

    However, others do this by giving time and space. Giving space means allowing himself to be better by improving his character and personality. Once he comes back to the potential mate, there is a chance that a guy can win her over.

    Ghosting, as we all know, may not be 100% effective. It may work for some, it may not work for others. I haven’t tried this strategy and I may never will. I would rather be genuine and take risks. What do I have to lose anyway? I won’t die after expressing my feelings, anyway. Like I said, rejection is tough but it’ll pass.

    Like

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