The Girl.

I don’t want to be this girl anymore.

I don’t want to be the girl who gets attached so easily.
The girl who always starts the conversation, and keeps it going at the same time.
The girl who takes dates seriously, because why else would you date a person you have no intention of getting to know better?

I don’t want to be the girl who feels everything so deeply.
The girl who listens and believes to every word a person she cares for says.
The girl who always cares so much, because she makes sure she values every significant thing around her.

I don’t want to be the girl who is known for being mediocre.
The girl who, when people see her, just gets a passive glance and a small nod.
The girl who is shy in flaunting what excellent things she could do just because she doesn’t want people to think she’s a show-off.

I don’t want to be the girl who cares what other people say about her.
The girl who needs to validate her self-worth from others.
The girl who listens when people change her because she wants to please everyone around her.

I could go on about the things I don’t want to be anymore.
I could do that because I have grown to dislike myself over time.
I am wounded and damaged to the point of being irreparable because of the people who created the monster that lives within me.
The monster that has eaten away the old me.

But I’m sick and tired of the girl I have become.
The girl who used to love company and sunshine now finds comfort in solace and darkness.
That’s the girl I have become, but no,
that’s not the girl I want to be.

I don’t want to be this girl anymore.

Things are about to change.

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